Superficial-bowl Sunday


Art by Audrey Houghton

BEEP BEEP. The boys and I wake up and immediately know that the day will be great. Why? Because the best day of the year has arrived. We pile into the boy’s car, I call shotgun and speed over to Wegman’s—making sure  to beat that ramped Super Bowl crowd.  We have a long list of grub we need for our special night. Finger food, salsa, chips and soda are all essential. Our cart nearly overflows.

After we complete our grocery mission, making sure our haul is large enough to feed a small village, we hit the kitchen.  We might spend upwards of six hours here, meticulously crafting the snacks that will in reality take our guests probably five minutes to eat. But presentation is essential. The boys and I are winging the buffalos, guac-ing the mole, and tuckin’ those pigs in their blankets. Pigs gotta be cozy.  You know we got the best line up in T-mo.

Hold up. Time to cut the kitchen sesh. PUPPY Bowl IS ON. I have to make sure I don’t break my boy’s injured arm as we fight over who get to turn to Animal Planet at 2:00 PM. This is the REAL game. To address the people that don’t agree with this statement; what is wrong with you?

The guests will all arrive by 6:30. The Food is out. The Drinks are chilled. It’s time… to enjoy our tasty treats with our boys. We hesitate to change the channel from Animal Planet. Those Puppies are so cute. Ok time to focus on those hunky boys tossing the pig skin. Wait! Everyone shut up. The new Doritos commercial is on!

The time for the TV volume to reach unforeseen levels has come: the halftime show.  We all know our guy JTimbs (Justin Timberlake) is going to tear the house down. Y’all ready know l will be intently, along with some mandatory dancing.  By the end of the halftime show, my boy’s bedtime has already passed and his mom is calling. Basically after he leaves, the party ends because he was the only one at my house. We kind of made up that thing about us having friends. Till next year…